Love is at the core of every marriage and its absence can bring tremendous strain and anguish into a relationship, but that does not indicate its end.
Open communication and active listening are essential ingredients of a healthy marriage relationship, and this article offers tips for how to address love problems within marriage.
Modern marital advice books encourage couples to become best friends during marriage, sharing secrets, showing affection, and discussing problems openly and honestly with one another. Unfortunately, however, many couples struggle with communicating effectively. Problematic relationships often result in lack of intimacy, sexual unsatisfaction, and resentment between partners. While communication exercises may help married couples improve their relationships, professional counseling may often provide the solution. Idealistic measurements of satisfaction and independent variables like communication should be conducted simultaneously over time; unfortunately, this is rarely done in marital research literature and this makes testing theoretical models that predict changes in satisfaction with given independent variables like communication more challenging.
Every married couple will inevitably face disagreements and differences of opinion, and how you and your partner handle these disagreements will either strengthen or break your marriage. One way of solving this love problem may be through compromise.
Compromise involves reaching an arrangement that will satisfy both of you as much as possible; while it might not exactly meet what each party wants, compromise can bring the two of you closer together than other options. For instance, if one spouse wants to go dancing while you prefer watching movies instead, why not compromise by going to a theatre instead? They get excitement of being out and about while you get comfort by retreating into stories for comfort? Compromise can work both ways!
Be careful when considering which areas to compromise on that you don’t give in to giving up your own values or goals just to please your partner – this could backfire and create lasting resentment between both of you.
Be careful not to resort to anger or hostility as a resolution method in your discussions; such a tactic often escalates arguments further and puts more distance between partners. Instead, strive to understand your partner and their concerns rationally.
Once you do agree on something, be sure to follow through sincerely on it. Otherwise, your partner could feel taken advantage of or that their opinions don’t matter; for example if they want to watch a movie but you turn them down without good cause. They could become bitter.
While compromise might not always be possible, it’s essential that couples understand they don’t need to give up all of their dreams for marriage to work. You and your partner likely have different interests and aspirations for life – finding ways to compromise in small ways can keep relationships strong; for instance, if one partner loves a particular TV show or film you could listen and even attend screenings together.
Look at your life in a new way
At some point in their relationship, every couple experiences difficulty. Sometimes this comes from outside influences like work or parenting pressures; or attitudes and habits among family members; but oftentimes the problem stems from old resentments or unfulfilled dreams about how marriage should have been; changing those thoughts and expectations can help your marriage recover quickly and move towards its intended goals again.
One of the primary reasons why marriages fail is their foundation in an inaccurate understanding of love. Our culture’s view of love encourages flashy displays of affection that put self before others; this kind of love doesn’t reflect God’s call on our lives and usually leads to relationship problems. Biblical love seeks out and pursues what’s best in each person it loves patiently, kindly, and selflessly–Christ is our ultimate example in this area – He loved and died for us while we were His enemies!
At the heart of every successful marriage lies understanding that you cannot always control external factors; what you can control, however, is how you react. Instead of reacting immediately in anger, take some time to consider all of the ramifications of your response before acting impulsively or reacting defensively. Asking your spouse for their perspective may provide new insights and improve communication in your marriage.
Remind yourself that marriage is a joint effort and work together with your spouse to address problems in your marriage. If you can’t agree on a solution, don’t despair: there are plenty of other ways you can keep things happy and healthy in your relationship – for instance if housework becomes burdensome, hiring a cleaning service or sharing chores might make the home feel more welcoming while strengthening bonds between both of you.
Every married couple experiences times when their love seems to diminish, yet these instances typically don’t last long and shouldn’t lead to divorce; rather, focus on what makes your marriage special and find ways to keep it thriving.
Let go of old resentments
People tend to cling onto old grudges because they still suffer from past events, whether from childhood or marriage, which can create difficulties within relationships and hinder the sharing of feelings between partners. A professional therapist can help spouses sort through these issues and devise solutions; open communication must remain paramount between couples but this can be challenging when both are harboring emotions of anger and bitterness against one another.
Let go of negative emotions and look at all that’s good in life; take note of all the blessings in your relationship and move forward in it; practicing forgiveness can help too – which in turn allows for growth to take place and will bring greater happiness into your life.
Reconciling with your spouse for their mistakes will be essential in solving the love issues in your marriage. One effective strategy for doing so is communicating regularly and showing them your affection; surprise your partner with random acts of kindness or use other strategies such as surprise gift giving to feel closer together as a couple.
Releasing old resentments may seem difficult, but it is possible. Remember that your anger hurts more than it hurts those you are holding a grudge against; most likely they won’t notice or care; this only serves to fuel more animosity between yourself and them.
Resentment can be an ever-simmering state of bitterness and anger that’s hard to shake, so breaking free can be challenging. Recognizing its effects can cause out of control behavior; work toward changing it by altering behavior as necessary or reframing your thinking to break the cycle of negativity and blame.
If your marriage is experiencing love issues, it is essential that you seek professional assistance as soon as possible. A marriage counseling therapist can assist in helping to address and solve them more quickly if treatment starts early enough.